An Unhappy Cobdenite? Read about our last Victory (in 2003) HERE! |
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Cobden 5 - Kinder 2 That is the true reflection of Easter Sunday's Game. Our first goal, probably the quickest in the history of the game was a magnificent effort, beautifully crafted out on the on wings for a 'ron atkinson' 'little eyebrows' ( you have to know the Champions League commentary to know that saying) from Andy togs, 1-0. The view from my net saw that the 40 a side teams left no room for imagination and actual football, so it was no surprise that a toe-bunger towards my goal went through 5 kinder goal hangers into the net, including the person on the line standing in front of me, Mark Makin. He was blatantly fouling the keeper, let alone off side, so the score is 1-0 still. After more typical scrappy play by Kinder the ball was booted in again from my right for that Ali scout to hit him on the shin and take a bobble on the worse pitch in years to pass me into the net, nothing I could do but watch as my defence were too busy trying to play total football in Kinder's half. No complaints with this one though so 1-1. However the next goal was a shocking turn of events, again a toe-bung in by Andi Makin this time from my right again was met by Ali Kinder scout and somehow the keeper, I Dan Hopwood, pulled of a miraculous save. I managed to get down low to my right and stop the ball from 3 yards out, Gordon Banks esc, but due to impact of falling on the ground the ball squirmed out. All of this was just for the crowds because I assumed that cos it was so blatantly off side and my defence had already moved up the pitch for the free kick that the header would be disallowed. To my dismay it was not given, but the score must remain 1-1. Perhaps the strangest decision of all my years as a Cobden scout was then made. A penalty was given? If we are playing to the rules of the game then surely some of the challenges would mean a red card for some players. Ridiculous. Firstly the Pie face was so far out of the unmarked box even I could see it without my glasses on. Also when has accidental handball resulted in a free kick, let alone a penalty? Score still 1-1. Half time was reached very dubiously when the official time keeper, Ian Corbishly, was over ruled my the Spreckly Mafioso and we ceased to play when we had constant pressure on the Kinder goal. The second half started with a debate onto how much time should be played. It was my understanding that after years of playing it was a 90 minute game. The mafia once again were calling for a 30min half, not surprising if they were 4-1 up! I managed to negotiate a 10 min time extension but 40 mins after the 25 min first half did not make sense to me but it was accepted anyway. Cobden started the second half with a new belief and distinctly fewer scouts than the opposition, but that does not matter. Cobden lay siege to the Kinder goal and for the occasional hoof up field it was all Cobden, the ball would simply not go in. After my curling shot was saved and Adi mopped up the re-bound Cobden started to believe and Kinder started to panic, so the score really was 2-1 to Cobden. Another hoof provided Ali with his hat trick, but to Jon Bintliffs dissatisfaction after trying to cope with the 4 perennial goal hangers. An easy goal to scrub off here, so that makes the score still 2-1, due to a blatant offside and cheating by crowding the area. Remember you set the precedent by shouting for the hand ball so I conclude what should have been by the rules you set. Ric drive makes the score 3-1. There was no debate, this was inside the post and the keeper had no chance. Went in sued for the next 10 minutes was nothing short of brilliant football by Cobden. Wave after wave of attack resulted in a corner tally of 10 to 3 Kinder corners. It was all Cobden and after Steev Sprecks handball, where was the penalty? One of our scouts score to make it 4-1. Kinder last goal by dobby, one of the infamous goal hangers was made by another hopeful punt into the box and another shin into the goal. They all count, so that makes the score 4-2. Just to add humiliation Andy Togs grabs his second of the game with a low drive into the bottom corner. Rout completed and the final score 5-2. Scorers and match incidents: 1-0 Andy Togs Tom Pidge disallowed for offside and foul on keeper Ali Socut goal disallowed for offside 1-1 Ali Scout Penaly, you have got to be kidding. 2-1 Adi Togs Goal disallowed for crowding the area and offside 3-1 Ric Statham 4-1 Some scout scores a penalty 4-2 Dobby jones 5-2 Andy Togs So there you have it, inconsistent refereeing, poor time keeping, and more scouts. This will go down in history as a Cobden win!! Cobden Victor!!! PS: Cobden are the troop for me, battle of Marple winners, I rest my case. |
THE BIG MATCH '04 |
WRITE YOUR OWN REPORT AND SEE IT HERE! Think you can do a better or fairer match report? Email us your version of events, and we'll publish it in its entirety (Except seriously offensive comments). |
An Unhappy Cobdenite? Read about our last Victory (in 2003) HERE! |