The Skye Report by Ginger.T 27 July till the 2 August 2002
When George Purdy, chief scout, told me in May that there would be good weeks, bad weeks, red weeks, and blue weeks, he also noted that I would occasionally have a Diamond of a week. This must count as one of them. Eight of us ventured to the Scottish Isle of Skye, most of us for the first time, the main reason being to clean up Camasunary beach next to the bothy, and get rid of the massive amount of fishermen's washed up rubbish. However, someone accidentally started the fun clock early on the Saturday of departure and no one remembered till we approached home (probably having too much fun ed.). Now, without further ado, let us begin the full account.
Richard Thorpe had been planning such an expedition for a while. Having read a note requesting help to clean the beach by the Bothy some time in 2001, he tapped the Marple Venture Scouts and finally rounded up about 6 of us to help with his plan. As an incentive he promised some walking and climbing and even some singing. Who could argue with that? The trip would also tie in with a Queen Scouts award expedition but, sadly, it never went ahead, and so we find ourselves outside the Scout HQ on a dull but dry Saturday morning waiting for the group to assemble.
SATURDAY The majority of us managed to make it on time for 6am and the proposed start. Tom Ridgway was late even by his standards, but this can be offset against his minimal packing ( a single 25 litre rucksack for a week), unlike the two Williams twins who were so late they had to be picked up from home, and then brought 2 Rucksacks each. I admit now that the convoy did have to stop at my house and pick up my bag. Anyway, the team was soon off and running. The first stop in the Lake District produced several newspapers and a set of Buffy the Vampire top trumps. By the next stop in Crianlarich our car had got through several Blackadder tapes, and the Legendary "Singing Kettle" tape had been played only once despite the protests of Mr Richard Thorpe who believed we should have played it more. A cup of tea in the railway station café and we were off to Fort William for dinner. Highlights of the drive included seeing some withered trees from the ancient Caledonian Forest, and the great tourist attraction of a tree growing out of a rock. Having arrived the team stocked up on bread, Scotch eggs, and cheese and onion pasties, had a 2 minute tour of Fort William and then set off for the sea port of Mallaig and it's harbour. Our chartered boat was soon loaded and the very rough sea made sure we didn't enjoy the crossing even playing hearts was too much. Visibility was minimal in the rain so we couldn't see any dolphins or whales, but by 6pm (an hour and a half since Mallaig) we were unloading kit in the sheltered isolated bay of Coruisk, still in the rain. Our remote 9 bunk hut with kitchen and flushing outside toilet was rapidly opened up and then we could rest a while. Made it. Andy Thorpe cooked a mighty Spaghetti Bolognese and the Thorpe's tent was set up in the wet and wild night. About four of us staying in the Coruisk hut then decided the stormy weather conditions were ideal for testing our extreme outdoor firelighting skills, but all the matches got wet so we gave up. Never mind, back to sitting in front of the gas fire then into our nice warm sleeping bags and to sleep.
SUNDAY We woke late and over breakfast decided the gloomy, drizzly day would be best spent doing orienteering and a little rope handling. Richard and Jane set out the orienteering course in the mist while the rest of us ambled about seeing what sort of scenery we had got ourselves into, and gambling how long it would take to get to the top of the ridge Ridgway did it in about 5 minutes, despite Johns prediction of "at least 10". The orienteering groups chosen, we set off not to race, but to ensure perfect navigation. Despite this a Williams and a Ridgway began in completely the wrong direction and took a while to warm up. Andy Thorpe and I set off last but were strangely first to checkpoints 5 and 6, then we too were undone by some of the Maps and supposed checkpoints. Second to start: Williams and Ridgway claimed to have won the event (even though no one was racing) as they foolishly sprinted back to the hut. The rest of us ambled home for soup and some dry socks. The afternoon was drier and a gentle slope was chosen on the sticky Gabbro rocks, to abseil down and climb up. In pairs we were taught the old ways of belaying and abseiling, where everything was done with the rope there were no harnesses or hardware. We practiced abseiling in many fashions from the ancient "only rope and friction" method, through to the modern harness and figure of eight. However, the most entertaining event came when David Twit forgot to tie himself back to the belay and subsequently was dragged along the rock trying to hold me, as I practiced falling I'm sure he'll never forget to tie on again. By the evening and tea we had had a full day. Tomorrow we had planned our first walk, so in preparation a tired evening was spent in the corrupt third division of the Lower Hearts league. What fun.
MONDAY The weather was drier but still cloudy on the tops as we set out for the summit of Gars Bheinn and the first peak of the infamous cuillin ridge. The Vexplorers were split into groups so they could be watched more carefully as they scrambled up the grippy gabbro. All the party climbed well reaching the summit at 12 noon and just in time to have dinner in the mist. Once on the summit though the dreaded threat that had hung over us all for two days, struck. The curse of the mobile phones began with many desperate to gain reception and find out how little had happened in the real world. We continued around the cuillin ridge for a few more summits and a little more navigational practice - which is hard in Skye as there are no paths, you can't see anything in fog, and the compasses won't work due to the magnetic rock. Your wits must be kept about you at all times!! We eventually scrambled down a massive valley, complete with monster boulders, which took ages to get down because you could see the bottom of it from the top. Once back on the lowland terrain a few of us had the regular "run as fast as you can downhill without breaking anything " competition and then nonchalantly ambled home to the hut for 6.30 ish. But the fun doesn't stop here. Oh no. Tom Ridgway and myself opted for the "swim in a freezing cold Loch Coruisk" instead of "nice sleep and card games". It was cold and the counter active "Burning Sensation " soon set in. Luckily enough though, we saw some lost walkers who we thought were just waving kindly at us. They were miles from home and after they had enjoyed a cup of the finest tea with biscuits in the hut, Richard Thorpe and myself escorted them on their way over the notorious "bad Step" - a crack in a sheer rock face you have to walk on to follow the path, one slip though and you'll have a mouth full of salty water. It was only at this point that I regret wearing shorts - belaying tired souls while being bitten to death is no fun. By the they had got across I had put on overtrousers and jacket done up like a samurai warrior. Those midges had had a feast. The walkers were on their way by 9:30pm and we heard no more of them afterwards. We raced home to the sound of me telling some appallingly bad jokes. Vegetable curry for tea and I was ready for a good nights sleep.
TUESDAY With most of the motley cru worn out from the walking, Tuesday would be a day of rest ish. A late start and then a vague attempt at fishing and some climbing. Richard Thorpe though had different ideas. We woke to mad plans of singing to seals. Three verses of "Wild Rover" was only successful in getting absolutely no interest from any sea life creatures, but several strange looks from tourists and fishermen. It was then we began to doubt Richard Thorpe. Fishing was completely unsuccessful too, we caught nothing but charlie boy fell in - (Andy Thorpe gave a 5.9 for technique apparently). So, distraught from the mornings events we retreated back to the hut for a chance regroup, oh and dinner. The afternoon brought a range of activities from Otter spotting to driftwood collecting to climbing and abseiling. Jane Thorpe closed in on a nearby island and saw lots of seals and otters finding a Deers head with antlers on the way. Andy Thorpe and Charlie boy collected wood from the coastland for a fire later on, while Richard had set up a climbing pitch round the back of the hut. It is now the time to mention an incredible feat mastered by a certain silver and purple plastic bag. The bag shrugged off the two karabiners pinning it down and took off in the wind. It dived and twisted out to sea, then inflated and twirled down in the valley before spinning and flying past us, twice , tempting us to catch it. However it must have got bored because on it's third pass it flew straight into my arms. A truely incredible illusion which left us all amazed - and thus it became known as the "Magic Bag". The climbing went well and we practiced all the abseils again finding some of them most uncomfortable but worth trying. After mini pizzas for tea, the rain began again, the fire was called off and we practiced first aid and learnt how to make a rope stretcher - we should have left the Twit in it really. Then more corrupt games of hearts and onwards to roast in your own bed if you were in the top bunk. We had a fire-fly in the hut that night - until smart alec David twit pointed out it was the smoke alarm. Someone always has to spoil it don't they.
WEDNESDAY Beach cleaning day and luckily it was warm and dry and some might say sunny. We set off on our 3km walk round the headland to the beach at Camasunary carrying 6 empty one ton bags bought from a builders yard. The walk took absolutely ages and we all crossed the bad step successfully. Talk was of Necrons with Twin Lazes - it would seem that the old fashioned troll has had his day, space marines are the way forward I believe. We got to Camasunary and immediately set about eating our lunch (first things first eh.). One of the twits particularly enjoyed Andy Thorpes special sandwich - a square of chocolate spread with a big blob of baked beans in the middle, revenge would come later. In the bothy (a hut/shelter building) by the beach there was one man. Richard went in to say hello and came out to tell us: His name was Harry, It was his birthday, He had come to clean the beach, He was a professional beach cleaner and it was he who put the note up last May that Richard saw. Incredible really. Richard denied he'd ever met or heard of the man before. What a coincedence - someone must have been looking down on Harry that day. On top of this Andy thorpe found a chocolate steam pudding that had been washed up in the fishermans nets and it even had that very days date on as "best before". Any more coincedences and it would have begun to worry me. We cleaned the beach in a sweep search formation although Andy Thorpe was particularly shoddy and messed around alot - we suggested several punishments for his parents to introduce and decided we would hold our own trial that night. We picked up bits of string till gone 5:30 and everyone was glad to hear the hooter Andy Thorpe had managed to get himself in more trouble by spraying a Williams with some fluid from what he thought was a lightstick - his punishment list was growing. We had pretty much filled all 6 bags with nets and string and lost wellies, etc. but sadly had only cleaned a sixth of the beach. We had done our best and Harry said it was one of the best birthdays he'd ever had. We all waltzed back home to our hut for more swimming ( Still only me and Tom and some water - maybe a bit warmer this time, but we made it to the Coruisk island on sheer power alone, technique never our strongpoint.) and pasta bake for tea. Fire was postponed again due to the time. The chocolate pudding was eaten and that was the end of another excellent day. The midnight trial consisted of William's Prosecution trying to prove that "Andy Thorpe was a Pike". Thorpe put up his own unique defence but was still found guilty by the Ridgway Jury. Judge Tognarelli finally decereed he should wake us all up next morning with a hot drink and pancakes - later reduced to just pancakes on appeal. Case Closed. Thankyou and goodnight.
THURSDAY Sunshine woke us up with a clear blue sky and Thorpey was first out of bed for once and was cooking wholemeal pancakes which was nice. With only two days left on the island now and our thoughts turned to how we were going all our junk home. We managed to send a few bags back to Mallaig after asking a nice sailor if he'd help us out, the yachtsman agreed, which was nice. We then had to get round to Camasunary again to load the bags onto a prearranged boat. Stepping stones became risky as others tried to soak you as you crossed, but several suntan lotion and water stops later we were there paddling in Camasunary's sandy shores and crystal waters. It could have been Barbados. A few fighter jets performed a flypast in honour of Harry's late birthday cake and all was running well. Ricky Thorpes planning up to now had been magnificent, all the logistics ran to plan but he had forgotten one small detail. He had failed to account for a small matter of 20 metres from the golden shores to the boat out in the water. So in a rather practical solution we all just waded in fully clothed with the rubbish bags. Up to our necks in water with an unanchored boat trying to load a big bag of string wasn't the easiest thing to do. Eventually a system was worked out involving Ridgway (curiously enjoying) stabbing the bottom of the bags so the water would drain while everyone lifted them higher and higher. By 3pm the bags had gone and we looked forward to climbing our second munro Bla Bheinn. However, given the time and weather a preferred route was to go back over Sgurr na Stri, Richard promised we could do Bla Bheinn tomorrow as we walked out. Those still with dry boots were very smug at this time. It was still hot and once we hit the peaks the mobile phones were out in force. The views were spectaular and the whole Cuillin ridge could be seen in awesome splendour. Back down to the hut and more swimming - Richard and Jane joining in this time, they agreed the water was "warm and tastes of oranges". The fire was instigated to burn off some of the rubbish and the hut was cleaned - ish, despite the fact that our water supply had dried up. Vegatarian fried stuff for tea was okay and we stayed up long into the night tending the fire and playing our new card game "Fours" which was still very entertaining after the third time at 3am. Charlie boy was lucky his trial postponed and forgotten, Ridgway was to prosecute on the grounds of theft by charlie, although he claims it all just fell onto his bunk. Nevermind, to sleep.
FRIDAY Tidying up and packing was the order of the day till 11 ish and then, once we had battened down the hatches and turned the gas off, we were set to leave. There were two options 1. Walk out carrying all our gear. 2. Catch a tourist boat that comes into the bay. It should be noted that Mr Richard Thorpe reneged on his promise as we opted for the second choice in the dazzling sunshine. We enjoyed our tea and biscuits and told the seals what we really thought of them. The half hour journey was soon over and we arrived at Elgol beach/ pebbly harbour to be reunited with the rubbish bags we'd sent across. Several games of hit the rock with the stone, lunch, and a sunbathe on the beach finally lead to catching the Postbus to Broadford. The driver John bent the rules a bit seeings as he used to be a scout himself and we were soon back in the land of the civilised and text messaging. Another bus to Armadale then across to Mallaig ,by boat, and our cars and kit. Richard and Jane were on dolphin and whale watch for the final crossing but weren't lucky at all. More team photos and fish and chips at Mallaigs quayside. One Twit realised his spare shoes had been full of stones all day and we divided kit into cars to go home. Richard would drive the express car to Marple stopping at Glasgow and arriving on Saturday morning, while Jane took a diversion to Edinburgh with the more relaxed scenic route.
Tom Ridgway's uncle was most accomodating for the night and the express rolled into Marple at 11:15. The scenic route travellers were delayed after having to call the AA out after their car (the Ridgway Mobile) wouldn't start in the morning and finally arrived at 5:15 that night. While unpacking Andy Thorpe found the "Funclock" in his bag by mistake and finally turned it off - otherwise they'd have been none left for summer camp.
A fantastic week on Skye was over. Well Done Richard and Jane for sorting it all out and well done Vexplorers for not burning our hut down. Same again next year?
The Intrepid Beach cleaners in order of appearrance at Marple HQ: Phillip Charles as Charlie Boy Andrew Tognarelli as the Leader of StalagLuft III Richard Thorpe as Gandalf the White. Jane Thorpe as The Tough Talking Negotiator Andrew Thorpe as Gimli, son of Gloin. Thomas Ridgway as The Cobden Lad John Williams as A Twit and The Worst Hearts Player and David Williams as Another Twit and The Cheese Monster The story endeth here.
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