It is somehow comforting to know that at any given point in time, when everybody else is snugly in their warm centrally heated homes, at least one Tognarelli will be under canvas somewhere and almost certainly in shorts. Parents worry about Pie's navigation; Andy Spreck's driving; Steve's cooking and Ian Corbishly's suitability to be in loco parentis, but somehow as Eileen Duckworth put it: 'If the Togs are going, it must be all right.' So to a closer investigation of 1st Marple's young leaders/lucky mascots. They were described by one brother as 'violent and moody'. Another brother declined to be interviewed 'It's more than my life's worth, I have to go home at Christmas.' However a former teacher said, ' Well, I know it's confidential really but I thought they were rather cute when they were little.' Until recently no ranger had ever managed to get invited inside the Villa Tognarelli Marple Hall Drive but we do know that Anna Tognarelli handed out ice pops to the small crowds hanging around. Luce crashed there one night after a party and slept in Tommy's bed but this doesn't really count. Time has moved on and Anna is now offering free candlelit dinners to anyone who will take her sons off her hands. This is what our intrepid reporters Mat, Vicki and Clare found last Friday when Andrew Tognarelli relaxed the high security and allowed them through the perimeter fencing. |
With |
THE TOGS |
Mat, Vicki and Clare - Hi, Andy. How's life in Edinburgh? Andy Tognarelli - Great! Come in and I'll tell you all about it. (They follow Andy inside somewhat nervously) Vicki - We've been following your every move on the web site actually. So we'd really like to ask you a few questions about Adi and Tommy. Andy Tognarelli (disappointed but still smiling pleasantly and adjusting his leder- hosen) Fire away! Clare To what do you think Adi and Tommy owe their literary success? Andy Tognarelli (without hesitation) - Alphabet Spaghetti definitely. By the age of three they had a speed of 6 words per minute and could go right round their plates without a single spelling mistake. Clare Impressive. ( sounding particularly impressed) So they could even spell Tognarelli? Andy Tognarelli (looks embarrassed) Well, Tognarelli isn't really Italian you know. It's just what was left over in an average helping of alphabet spaghetti when you take out MATTHEW, MICHAEL, ANDREW, ADRIAN and THOMAS. That G was just kind of lying there doing nothing that's why we don't pronounce it. (Remember you are what you eat. Ed) Mat - (unable to believe that their Italian credentials were so easily shaken) So you mean if you'd had real spaghetti instead of the tinned stuff you might not be TOGNARELLIS after all? Andy Tognarelli No, not at all. We would just have gone on to joined up writing sooner. ( he points to the wall where examples of his own joined up 'spaghetti' writing have pride of place) I design all my buildings this way and have an award for my penne ducting. ( on closer inspection the most recent sample is dated the night of the cast dinner at the Dolce Vita and appears to be about swallowing a key and wanting some money under his pillow.) Tommy arrives home at this point. (Adi gallops in some time later.) Tommy shows our reporters how tidy his bedroom is compared to Adrian's and then reverts to his Gang show persona and reads the newspaper occasionally hurling abusive remarks at his brothers and mother who has now returned from working 9-5. This is yet another family in Marple that is still affected by Gang Show fever. Our reporters now direct their questions to Anna (Mummy Togs). Vicki - Are Adi and Tommy 'identical' twins? Anna No, one has longer hair than the other. Vicki What were they like as babies? Anna They were like each other. Vicki Are they different now? Anna Yes, one has longer hair than the other. Mat What is their favourite film? Anna Gang show the movies. 1999 appears to be a particular favourite. I think they will have to have it on a rota when they go to uni. Clare Speaking of rotas do the twins do their fair share of housework washing up for example? Andrew Tognarelli (cuts in at this point) Tommy scives 9-5. A brief argument ensues during which an unopened pair of rubber gloves strikes Tommy in the face. Our reporters, who had been offered a cup of tea some time ago, couldn't wait any longer and left. The Tognarelli's were provided by the campaign for the freedom of information and the right to roam www.whoinvitedyouinhere.org.uk |
10 MINUTES |
GUEST WRITER - CLARE THORPE (AND MUM) |
Met anyone worth writing about at Marple Scouts? Why not conduct your own five minute interview with them, and e-mail us the results??!! |